So, you go through the best part of a year growing this tiny human inside you. You are bombarded with hundreds of photo's of beautiful beaming ladies with their perfect bumps via mummy magazines, pregnancy updates emails, books, maternity clothing sites - you name it. We are all told about the 'pregnancy glow' and the luscious thick hair we are suppose to get (I didn't). I was very 'into' my pregnancy - I went to NCT classes, I was part of (and eventually set up my own) Facebook mum groups, I signed up to every weekly email update going and subscribed to all the online shop 'clubs' (Boots Parenting Club, My Mothercare etc) however even I didn't see many photo's of mother's after they had popped their sprog out. There wasn't much information on what to expect when you are no longer expecting.
Now, I'm not necessarily talking about the nitty gritty postpartum bleeding, sore nipples kinda thing. That's for another day. I'm on about what happens to your belly after the bump. What happens to my skin? Will my body ever be the same? Am I the only one with this many stretchmarks? Questions that aren't that easy to answer without trawling through different forums online and parenting forums can be a scary place full of strong opinions and Googled-medical-advice. Motherhood can be a very lonely place and things like what your body will look like after you give birth aren't often the topic of discussion at baby groups. No one whips out their stomach and shows off their stretch marks in the middle of Messy Play (I wish they did!).
Less than 8 weeks postpartum, people are already mentioning 'bouncing back' or getting into pre-baby clothes. There are enough pressures from becoming a parent without worrying if I'm going to fit into my Topshop Joni jeans by next month. I don't recall seeing a single photo of a post-childbirth mamma in all her glory until recently and my baby is 1 in two weeks. The only photo's and articles that are thrust at new mum's are ones like these (genuine article titles) - 'Body After Baby - Celebs Who Bounced Back Fast' or 'Celebrity Secrets To Loosing Baby Weight'. Don't get me wrong, I am all for celebrating your body and your 'progress' however that shouldn't be something solely linked to loosing weight and 'bouncing back'. If only people made comments like 'Your body is amazing for growing that gorgeous baby! You are so strong!' and not just 'Wow! You lost so much baby weight so quick! You look like you never had a baby! Well done!'. Like I said, please don't think I am against the latter comments... I just wish there was a balance. It's not all about appearance and I do feel like after you have a baby what you look like gets pushed on you SO much. Yes, a mother could be back in her pre-baby size but she may be suffering with PN depression or the mother who is still in her maternity leggings could be feeling amazing. Asking questions like 'So, when are you planning on loosing the baby weight?' is a dick move.
This isn't coming from someone who is just bitter. I actually got back into my pre-baby size very quickly and was in tight dresses after less than 8 weeks of giving birth. However, I am COVERED in stretch marks and I have definitely gained a *lot* of weight in the first year of having Matilda but I know that is purely due to my biscuit addiction and lack of general movement so the fault on my part. The fact of the matter is staying in my pjs all day with my bubba eating snacks just appeals to me right now, so I am under no illusions that a sharing pack of dorito's for breakfast is going to give me a six pack. There is a element of embarrassment and shame surrounding what our bodies look like after we give birth and I am on a mission to change that.
I've sidetracked a little but I just want to NORMALIZE POSTPARTUM. I want to give mumma's photo's to relate to, not just what they see in the glossy mags. I am the creator/admin of an *amazing* Facebook support group for mums & mums to be and put a post up asking if anyone would feel comfortable sharing their postpartum bodies with me and my readers. I was totally blown away by the response and I am so excited to share these beautiful mother's with you in a hope to normalize what is so often hidden.
When I first had the idea to do this post, I was going to individually show each person's image with how long postpartum they are and how many kids they've had but I've decided against that for two reasons - 1, there are SO many images to share this post would be more like the bible and aint no mumma got time for dat and 2, I don't really think it matters how long ago people had their baby or how many they've had. It's easy to get caught up in the details and you can get into the trap of comparison. Every body is different and we should bloody well embrace that!
Now for the photo's... There are a range of different women pictured here. Some who have had 1 baby to some who have had 4+ babies, those who are a few weeks PP to those who are 3+ years PP. C-sections and vaginal births. Some are were super fit before/during/after pregnancy. Some who have scars from previous surgeries. Tattoos and piercings. I'm sorry there isn't a wider range of different ethnicity's but these are all the photo's I have been kindly sent. If you have a photo that you think would be beneficial to this post then please drop me an email on ambernicolesmith@hotmail.co.uk titled Postpartum.
As you can see, bodies after baby aren't this big scary hidden secret. They're actually very beautiful. Your body that has grown and harbored a little life. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Embrace the stretchmarks - rock those stripes, honey. Be proud of your body and what you've achieved. Fuck 'beauty standards' and let's NORMALIZE POSTPARTUM BODIES.Please feel free to share this post with anyone you think may need it.
P.S I hope you read the title of this post like 'THIS IS SPARTA'
All my love,
Amber Rose
The Curly Mother
@AmberRoseTheron
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